A Bite of My Novel
Simon and I were trying to focus on reading a blog post as two of my alters, Gwen and Heidi, began arguing over which dress we were going to wear to our appointment. Gwen is a bit of a hippie enjoying lots of flowing, flowery fabrics and Heidi wanted to wear something solid and more form-fitting in her vanity. Gwen is concerned with all of our spiritual matters. She flows intuitively through life. Heidi is very different, more concerned with how we look. She loves doing my hair in long, wavy curls and painting our nails bright colors. Sometimes I can’t get her to stop watching makeup tutorial videos online.
I was sure Dr. McNally could help me, but I was scared. He’d worked with dissociative patients before, but this would be the first time I’d seen someone with experience. I had an underlying feeling that I could trust him, and things would work out. I was determined to give it my full commitment. Besides, I didn’t want to lose James.
I didn’t want to hide D.I.D. anymore. I couldn’t. James told me if I didn’t get help, he’d leave me. He’d put up with so much from me over the length of our marriage. Heidi was yelling at Gwen again when I stepped forward and told them we were wearing jeans and a sweater, period. Heidi was ticked as usual and Gwen rolled her eyes. Simon just wanted to stay right there leaning back on his favorite gray pillow casually scrolling through blog pages.
I suddenly sensed God telling me to get up and get ready, so I listened. I heard Him say, “Becca, I don’t want you to hide who you are. My people need you. This path you are on is sacred to Me. It will be difficult, and I will be with you the whole way.”